It is estimated that there are over three million men in the united states alone that suffer from depression. However, only a tiny percentage of those men are ever expected to disclose the fact that they are depressed. The problem is bound up with the male image of Western culture. The man is believed to be "the rock" upon which others trust, and any sign of weakness is likely to be seen in terms of 'femininity'. Healing commences when men understand that suffering from depression doesn't make them any less of a man.
For many generations men have worked on perfecting their techniques for covering up their feelings. Perhaps this has been born of the need to be able to get on with their work in any case regardless of the stress they might be under. Men also promptly turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, or more work, moreso than women, as mechanisms for avoiding having to deal with annoying feelings They presume that they can get over their depression by trying to give themselves something else to ponder on. This cannot, of course, really deal with the issue.
Men are less likely than women to go for treatment for their depression, though women are often just as improbable to declare that there is a problem. This is why the encouragement of family and fiends is so vital in the healing process.
Men can conceal their depression well. Unlike women, they really do want to be left alone and not for purposes of reaching out eventually in good time. Men will hide their depression because they feel dishonor and fear. Many of those who are dear to a man who has committed suicide will say that they didn't have a clue - a terrible indication of the power of some men to hide their feelings. Such men labor silently and alone against their depression until it totally overwhelms them.
A man's friends need to be informed of the indications of depression. Does it seem like he is aspiring to change to much? Is he oversleeping, not sleeping at all, indicating unceasing tension or stress, and even anger. Exploring these issues with a male partner or family member can be demanding. If a man is genuinely battling depression, you may need to plod slowly.
Be careful not to push too hard or too quickly when it comes to finding help, as you may be recieved with rage and denial. In the preliminary stage of depression, the subject is in pain but generally truly does not know why. People will blame circumstances. Adolescents will blame their home lives, and married men will generally blame their wives. Be aware while the man may recongise that their pain is not normal, this does not mean that they will be instantaneously open to the idea of therapy.
If you want to help someone seek treatment, they are going to have to make that resolution themselves. All you can do is tell them that you are worried about them. Do more listening than talking. Show your support by telling them that you love or care for them. Ideally, make them feel that this is something that the two of you are going to take on together, and that they are not alone.
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Depression and Men
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